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It is not uncommon for the survivor to incorporate a parent, both parents, or grandparents, into their internal leadership hierarchy in a generational survivor. High priests and priestesses may sit on ruling councils inside. Suggestions: Internal leadership councils will often be some of the most resistant to, and hostile towards therapy, especially in the early stages. They will verbally banter with, or refuse to speak to, the therapist, as being ”beneath their notice.” They are mimicking the haughty, hierarchical attitudes they have been exposed to all their lives. They also have the most to lose, if the survivor leaves the cult, and may fight this decision tooth and nail. They will often be the alters with an ”attitude”. Both the survivor and therapist need to recognize that these parts had powerful needs that were met in the cult setting. To ignore this and argue with them will only entrench their belief that therapists are stupid and unknowing people. Acknowledge their internal role while gently pointing out reality. Try to enlist their aid in helping the survivor strengthen. Discuss honestly the pros and cons of leaving the cult. These are highly intellectual alters, and they need to express their concerns and doubts. Setting good boundaries and not allowing verbal abuse of the therapist is important. These alters are used to ”pushing people around” verbally, and have been rewarded for it prior to therapy. Now, they need to learn new coping skills and behaviors, and the process may take time. Allow them to vent their anger, displeasure, and fears about the decision to leave the cult. Offer them new jobs inside the person of leadership over safety committees, or even decision making committees. Sometimes, a system that has broken free from the cult, and has no external hierarchy that they are accountable to will go through a short period of chaos as word gets out: we’re free, and don’t have to do what the cult tells us to do any more! Hundreds of internal arguments may break out as to: what do we do for a living? where do we live? what do we eat? what hobbies will we have? Everybody wants to come out, see the daytime, and live this new, free life. But the freedom may cause imbalance with all of the switching going on inside. Enlisting the aid of the internal hierarchy, and creating a limited democracy, with ground rules, may help during this time. Don’t dismantle the internal hierarchy overnight, or the systems will be rudderless. Enlist their aid in helping direct which direction the survivor goes. Things will settle down after a period, as the systems learn to listen to each other, vote on ideas, and begin going together in the same direction. — 161 —
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