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A survivor may remember the father taking them to rituals, and believe that their mother or grandparent is safe. Only later in therapy will they remember that mother or granny was actually their trainer, since the most painful memories tend to come later. The survivor may only remember ritual abuse in early childhood, and think they were let go at a certain age. This is extremely rare, since the group has put in years of effort into training them. Almost never will they just “let someone go” in generational families. But they may be given false or screen memories, especially if they are in therapy, to confuse the survivor and the therapist. The client will need to listen to and believe internal parts who have more information than they do, and take appropriate steps to be safe. This will probably mean cutting off contact with perpetrators at this point. Again, outside accountability is paramount. Safe houses, a women’s shelter or a safe church family may be alternatives. One of the worst things the survivor can do is isolate, or go out walking late at night alone, or go camping in the woods by themselves. Abduction will often occur in these scenarios, when the survivor is alone and vulnerable. Safe roommates can help keep the survivor safe. Locking up the phone in the trunk of the car may help if phone programming is intense. This gives the survivor the chance to wake up or stop phone calls, if an alter has to get up, find the car keys, turn on the light, go outside, and open a car trunk, bring the phone inside and hook it up again before making a phone call. Building a support system through safe support groups, a good therapist, church, or work can also help. Whenever possible and practical, moving away from the town or state where the survivor was active in the cult can help. Why? Remember the survivor’s whole support network was the cult in their old town. The trainers and/or family members have invested time and effort into the survivor and have a big stake in their coming back. If the survivor moves far enough away, a cult group in the new city or state will not know them as well, and will not have a lengthy history with them. This can help decrease the chance of reaccessing by the cult, in conjunction with good therapy and a safe support network. The survivor will have to rebuild their support system anyway, so why not do it as far as possible away from people they have known who might hurt them? It can be intensely triggering to the survivor to see their old trainer walking down the street towards them, and inside alters may destabilize or feel unsafe. This is one case where distance is good. — 157 —
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