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Grieving for the vast amount of deception, the amount of abuse heaped on the child, and the very young alters who were the original templates may occur. These parts may be barely verbal, and may want to draw their experiences, or use colors in collages (with the help of older parts inside), to describe to a safe outside person what their reality has been. Validating to them that they are NOT just a color, that they are part of a whole person, may help. The survivor may see colored overlays for awhile, as they are undoing this programming, as parts inside share their memories. This is normal, although it may feel uncomfortable to see objects as yellow or green, for example. Grounding oneself, having cognitives do reality orientation, and patience will help the survivor work through this time. Jewel programming and metals may be more complex, since the child’s sense of special ness, pride and status may be bound up in these alters. Rubies, emeralds and diamonds are considered “high alters” inside and are used to leadership roles, both internally and externally. Acknowledging their importance to the system; listening to them grieve at leaving the cult, which meant giving up their status externally, and giving them new positions inside that are important can help. They can become system leaders in helping the person stay safe, once they make the decision to leave the cult, and become strong allies. But they will often be among the most resistant, and even hostile, to the idea of leaving the cult at first, since they have only known and remembered being rewarded for jobs well done, and have learned to “pass down” the traumas to “lower parts” inside. They will often honestly not believe they have been abused, and will only remember being petted or allowed to lead, or being told they were special, valued. Listening to how they feel; acknowledging that leaving means giving up things that were important to them, finding out what needs motivated them, and trying to find healthy outlets for them to get their needs met outside of cult meetings will help. Letting a jewel have leadership within, or chair internal meetings may make up for loss of external leadership when the survivor leaves the cult. Acknowledging their importance to the survivor is also important. Recognize that these parts are EXTREMELY dissociated from their own abuse/trauma, and are in no hurry to remember. But both the survivor and a good therapist can bring reality gently to them, as they let them know that they were abused; that they are actually part of the “lower emotional parts” who were abused, and will eventually need to acknowledge this. — 129 —
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