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Remembering safely assumes that the person has a qualified therapist, and also has laid the groundwork for good intrasystem cooperation, as discussed above. Memory work should not be done until there is good communication and cooperation inside, or the person will be overwhelmed by the memories as they come out. They will be flooded and re-traumatized instead of helped, and may de-compensate. With good communication, memories can be brought out a little at a time, in manageable pieces, while cognitive alters continually help keep the survivor from going completely into the memory, and they can also help ground the more wounded parts. The cult will put people through certain types of programming in order to achieve a specific goal: separating the intellect, or cognition, form the feelings in a person. Cognitive alters in these systems are always considered “higher” than the feeling alters; cognitive alters are taught to “pass down” their feelings to the “lower” feeling alters. While these labels are untrue, the cognitive alters will fear feeling the intense, overwhelming emotions that caused them to split further and further from the more limbic, or feeling alters internally. This will drive continued system divisiveness in the survivor. It is important that cognitive parts realize that the feeling alters are part of them; that they can practice sharing their feelings in SMALL steps without needing to be flooded, or overwhelmed. A reminder: EXTERNAL SAFETY IS PARAMOUNT TO UNDOING INSIDE PROGRAMMING. You HAVE to be able to promise these parts external safety, and deliver on this promise, or they will understandably balk at working inside on undoing programming. Why should they try and change, only to go back and be punished again? No system will undo its own protective dissociation, if the abuse is ongoing, or it will continue to destabilize and re-dissociate over and over. This is because dismantling the dissociation would mean dismantling its own survival and protection. Stopping contact with perpetrators and having a safe therapist are the very first steps to take, before attempting to undo internal programming. A system can still work on stopping cult contact, and begin healing , while being accessed, but it will slow therapy down tremendously as the internal energy will be diverted to staying safe rather than undoing trauma. A person can heal, and most survivors are still in cult contact when they enter therapy. BUT the progress will go much more quickly once cult contact is broken. (see chapter on preventing accessing of the survivor) . — 125 —
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