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SUGGESTIONS THAT MAY HELP I believe in also offering some ideas on how to undo some of the above mentioned programming, as I do not believe in knowledge, only for knowledge’s sake. The survivor often needs tools, in order to try and undo some of the horrendous abuse that the cult places him/her through, especially as memories of these things occur. THESE ARE JUST MEANT AS HELPFUL HINTS AND DO NOT REPLACE THE ADVICE OF A GOOD THERAPIST. 1. Early milieu programming: This is difficult to undo, since it hits on core abandonment issues, and rejection, for the survivor. This will often have been the survivor’s very first, earliest experiences as an infant, involving its relationship with its parents and primary family members. Working on this requires the whole hearted effort of all alter systems inside, to join in nurturing the core splits who experienced severe parental rejection, and the cognitive recognition that the DAYTIME was important, too; that the adults around the infant were the unhealthy ones. The infant’s often feel unlovable, overly needy, depressed; but nurturing alters inside can help comfort them, and share the reality that the infant really was loveable, no matter what the outside adults around it were like. Here, too, an outside supportive therapist, and a strong, nurturing faith system, can help tremendously in the healing process, as new messages are brought in to the abandoned, wounded parts. Sorting through what happened, grieving over the real issues of abandonment, and bringing reality to very young, deeply wounded parts will take time. 2. Early intentional fragmentation:(ages 0 to 24 months) Usually there are cognitive parts of the survivor inside, who have never ever forgotten the abuse, and can help share the cognitive reality of the abuse with the amnesic alters. This should be done extremely slowly, since this first abuse was done quite early in life. Creating an internal nursery, with safe toys, objects, can help. Older nurturing adult alters inside can help hold and care for the wounded infants inside the nursery, while acknowledging and grieving over the abuse which occurred. It is important to believe an validate the young parts when they come forward to share. Allowing them nonverbal ways of expressing themselves can help, as these are quite young parts, who often cannot talk yet. Having older children inside who are close to the infants verbalize their wants, needs, and fears can also help, as often the youngest parts inside do not trust ANY adults, even internal ones. — 123 —
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